I’ve hit a wall. No this isn’t another “boo hoo renovation is hard” post this is more of a “what am I doing with this blog” type post. I’ve written for 16 weeks about quartz countertops, hardwood floors, spending lots of money, and making way more decisions than I’m comfortable with. It’s been overwhelming and all consuming- but, that’s not my whole life. Even when I’ve said that it was. The home renovation process has slowed down. The house is livable and I’m fine with that being an achievement in itself right now. Yes, we still don’t have door knobs and the bathroom door is still a trap- but that’s life. The to do list will never go away. It will never be “finished” and recently, if I’m being honest, I’ve found myself feeling pressured for weekly “content” and rushing this process for the sake of the dumb blog ™.
So what do I do? Slow down? Post once or twice a month? Keep forging ahead with weekly posts? Quit?
I have options. I am my own boss after all and the pay here is shit.
The truth is this, I like my dumb blog ™.
I like writing weekly. It’s a challenge and gives me an opportunity to express myself and think creatively even if the venue is of course, the dumb blog ™. I like that I’m doing something that isn’t my job, that I have a deadline (Wednesdays!), and that I’m sticking with it. Because frankly it’s been years since anything creative in my life has stuck at all, and it feels good.
I used to make things. All the time. I wrote, directed, painted, built, shot, and edited. That has changed over the last several years (hi social work!) and I have feelings about this to be sure- but they range from frustration to joy. It’s not simple. There’s no clear narrative to this story. I just know that I used to make things and now I don’t for the most part. For whatever it’s worth, the dumb blog ™ is the biggest thing I’ve created since well…
But I can’t keep up with it if I don’t allow myself to wander outside the realm of home renovation and interior design. Yes, I’m aware that no one has constrained me to these topics but my own damned self, but still- I built a box and now it’s hard for me to see outside of it. Never once did I think to give myself a door or you know, a window.
Rules and control. #mybigproblem, Ask anyone.
So I know I need to change it up if I’m going to keep writing, but I’m also worried that you guys will stop reading- and I really like that you guys are reading.
For now I know this, I want to use the dumb blog ™ to write about what inspires me to stay creative, take care of myself, and live a rewarding life. That was a very difficult sentence for an inherently sarcastic and self-deprecating person to write. But it’s true. So fuck it. Some potential topics include:
Interior Design/HomeEc: D’oh, where have you been?! I obviously want to keep posting updates on our space as it gets closer but not ever finished. Also thinking of branching out into other peoples homes and tips on how they made their space a place they don’t hate (spacehatersneednotapply).
Sister Wife Design Topics: Namely fashion, graphic design, typography, architecture, handicrafts. You know, the shit on Pinterest.
“Art-art”: Like fancy art which still somehow seems to carry more cache than the above design or functional type art. I don’t get it. I’ll largely reserve this area for movies, music, and of course art-art.
Travel: I go places and tend to be inspired by my surroundings. SO WEIRD I KNOW. Oaxaca Summer 2017. Can’t wait to get to see these bad boys.
New York City: She’s a beast but she’s mine. I want to keep exploring new restaurants (aka the only reason to live here), events, and write a 1,000 word essay on fire escapes. You think I’m playing?
Food: I cook! And eat! Like every other person on the planet I also insist on documenting these details. We’re all monsters.
Relationships/Emotions/Stress: I call this the “social work” topic. Self care matters a whole lot to me- believe or not but the dumb blog ™ is actual my SELF CARE. Funny how that works. Always interested in hearing how others cope with being alive and having to interact with people on a daily basis. Plant image to signify “growth”.
Don’t you like how I ended up making a list of topics to write about right after I said I didn’t want to be restrained by rules? #changeishard
One thing needs to happen to be sure: I want inspiration to be driving the blog, rather than the blog to be driving the inspiration.
So what’s on the docket for next week? I have no idea. I got some removable wallpaper samples that I want to test out (thanks Sweet Pea Wall Designs), we just went to the Cafe Tacvba concert, or maybe I’ll just put on every piece of polka dot clothing I own and photograph that.
Oh wait I already did that.
I just want to keep writing.
Let me know in the comments if there’s something you’d be especially interested in hearing/reading about. All the feedback I’ve gotten thus far has meant the world to me. There’s a reason why this thing is basically a livejournal rather than a regular old deadjournal. I want this to be a dialog as much as possible rather than an extremely ill-plotted one woman play. I hope you’ll stay along for the ride and have patience with me as I figure out where the dumb blog ™ is headed.
So what’s that thing that more chill people say “lets see where this takes me”? Huh. Yeah. Let’s do that.